I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
