I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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