I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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