We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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