i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
