Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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