Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
