just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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