At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
