This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
