shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
