party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
