is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
