Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
