he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My vagina is officially offended.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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