Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
