no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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