Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
