I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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