Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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