this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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