can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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