Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
