His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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