i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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