I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
