you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
