I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
