I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize