Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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