The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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