3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
