Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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