boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
where are my eyebrows?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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