Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
