if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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