READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I want is dick and wine.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
