I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
