Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
