After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
