erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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