why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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