Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize