you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
