she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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