You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize