Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
