Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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