I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
