spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
