i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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