I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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