wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
