I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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