i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
