can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
