I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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