Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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