i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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