Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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