Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
