R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
